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Quote of the day: You too, Galba, will some day have a tas
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Twelve Emperors by Suetonius

Claudius, Chapter 15: Administration of justice (cont.)
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But in hearing and determining causes, he exhibited a strange inconsistency of temper, being at one time circumspect and sagacious, at another inconsiderate and rash, and sometimes frivolous and like one out of his mind. In correcting the roll of judges, he struck off the name of one who, concealing the privilege his children gave him to be excused from serving, had answered to his name, as too eager for the office. Another who was summoned before him in a cause of his own, but alleged that the affair did not properly come under the emperor's cognizance, but that of the ordinary judges, he ordered to plead the cause himself immediately before him, and show in a case of his own, how equitable a judge he would prove in that of other persons. A woman refusing to acknowledge her own son, and there being no clear proof on either side, he obliged her to confess the truth, by ordering her to marry the young man. He was much inclined to determine causes in favour of the parties who appeared, against those who did not, without inquiring whether their absence was occasioned by their own fault or by real necessity. On proclamation of a man's being convicted of forgery, and that he ought to have his hand cut off, he insisted that an executioner should be immediately sent for, with a Spanish sword and a block. A person being prosecuted for falsely assuming the citizenship, and a frivolous dispute arising between the advocates in the cause, whether he ought to make his appearance in the Roman or Grecian dress, to show his impartiality, he commanded him to change his clothes several times according to the character he assumed in the accusation or defense. An anecdote is related of him, and believed to be true, that, in a particular cause he delivered his sentence in writing thus: " I am in favour of those who have spoken the truth." By this he so much forfeited the good opinion of the world, that he was everywhere and openly despised. A person making an excuse for the non-appearance of a witness whom he had sent for from the provinces, declared it was impossible for him to appear, concealing the reason for some time: at last, after several interrogatories were put to him on the subject, he answered, "The man is dead;" to which Claudius replied, "I think that is a sufficient excuse." Another thanking him for suffering a person who was prosecuted to make his defense by counsel, added, " And yet it is no more than what is usual." I have likewise heard some old men say, that the advocates used to abuse his patience so grossly, that they would not only call him back, as he was quitting the tribunal, but would seize him by the hem of his toga, and sometimes catch him by the heels, to make him stay. That such behaviour, however strange, is not incredible, will appear from this anecdote. Some obscure Greek, who was a litigant, had an altercation with him, in which he called out, " You are an old fool." It is certain that a Roman knight, who was prosecuted by unscrupulous enemies on a false charge of obscenity with women, observing that common strumpets were summoned against him and allowed to give evidence, upbraided Claudius in very harsh and severe terms with his folly and cruelty, and threw his style, and some books which he had in his hands, in his face, with such violence as to wound him severely in the cheek. In cognoscendo autem ac decernendo mira varietate animi fuit, modo circumspectus et sagax, interdum inconsultus ac praeceps, nonnumquam friuolus amentique similis. Cum decurias rerum actu expungeret, eum, qui dissimulata vacatione quam beneficio liberorum habebat responderat, ut cupidum iudicandi dimisit; alium interpellatum ab adversariis de propria lite negantemque cognitionis rem sed ordinari iuris esse, agere causam confestim apud se coegit, proprio negotio documentum daturum, quam aequus iudex in alieno negotio futurus esset. Feminam non agnoscentem filium suum dubia utrimque argumentorum fide ad confessionem compulit indicto matrimonio iuvenis. Absentibus secundum praesentes facillime dabat, nullo dilectu culpane quis an aliqua necessitate cessasset. Proclamante quodam praecidendas falsario manus, carnificem statim acciri cum machaera mensaque lanionia flagitavit. Peregrinitatis reum orta inter advocatos levi contentione, togatumne an palliatum dicere causam oporteret, quasi aequitatem integram ostentans, mutare habitum saepius et prout accusaretur defendereturue, iussit. De quodam etiam negotio ita ex tabella pronuntiasse creditur, secundum eos se sentire, qui vera proposuissent. Propter quae usque eo eviluit, ut passim ac propalam contemptui esset. Excusans quidam testem e provincia ab eo vocatum negavit praesto esse posse dissimulata diu causa; ac post longas demum interrogationes: "Mortuus est," inquit, "puto, licuit." Alius gratias agens quod reum defendi pateretur, adiecit: "Et tamen fieri solet." Illud quoque a maioribus natu audiebam, adeo causidicos patientia eius solitos abuti, ut discedentem e tribunali non solum voce revocarent, sed et lacinia togae retenta, interdum pede apprehenso detinerent. Ac ne cui haec mira sint, litigatori Graeculo vox in altercatione excidit: kai su geron ei kai moros. Equitem quidem Romanum obscaenitatis in feminas reum, sed falso et ab impotentibus inimicis conficto crimine, satis constat, cum scorta meritoria citari adversus se et audiri pro testimonio videret, graphium et libellos, quos tenebat in manu, ita cum magna stultitiae et saevitiae exprobratione iecisse in faciem eius, ut genam non leviter perstrinxerit.